I was exposed to religion as a child, around the age of 5. However, religion was not a focus in our family, it was something that was an add-on to our calendar. After a while, I remember my family not returning to church over some dispute, in fact, we never returned to any church. That calendar add-on was completely erased and it was replaced with sports and video games.
As I entered my pre-teen years, music became a major influence in my life, and classic rock and heavy metal began shaping my character and decision-making. I dreamed of being like those guys with long hair, and makeup, and filled with so much anger. I wore the clothes, grew the hair, and filled myself with the hatred they portrayed in their songs.
Time passed and I began playing with the devil. Witchcraft, talking to the dead, reading sections of the satanic bible, you name it I was digging into it. The music I started with became darker and more demonic. The bands I listened to were self-proclaimed satanic bands and I welcomed them into my ears and echoed their words. Then the time came as I sat in my dark, postered room, lit by black candles, my usual discussion through the ouija board. This time was different before it was casual talk, but this time it became personal and those on the other side seemed angry and even threatened me. You see, my curiosity to know more about the creator was growing. I believed in God, I mean if I believed in satan I must believe in God, but my understanding was perverted.
After that night, I decided to stop the discussions and I wanted to know why they were angry with me for wanting more understanding. Time passed, and I never touched the ouija board again, but I also lost interest in gaining an understanding of God, so I never pursued Him.
I finished High School and got married to the most amazing woman. One would think life was great, but it wasn’t. You see, even though I stopped the communication, I also stopped pursuing the creator, I continued with the same music and still had all the anger and hatred inside me. I made decisions that hurt the people around me and almost got myself killed for a time or two.
Then, after all the pain I caused, I found myself in study with a wonderful man who loved God. My wife and I sat with him doing bible studies and oh how I challenged him, yet he continued to present to me why I could trust God. Finally, we came to the prophecies of Daniel. I looked at the events spoken to Daniel the prophet and then backed by history books and facts, I started to see that the god I was serving was so much smaller than the God I was pushing away. I saw that the creator foretold what would happen, and then it did, just as he said. In our study we learned that satan does not want us to know the truth about prophecy, because if we do then we see the truth about him, so he keeps us busy with life and the problems we create for ourselves.
The prophetic studies of Daniel and Revelation helped lead me to the Father, my God who I can trust. Ultimately I was led into deeper bible study and discovered so many truths about Him and His love for me. I am so grateful for the man who sat with us to study, he baptized us and became our pastor. We continue to study our bibles daily and continue to discover new truths about Him. One of my favorite bible verses is Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
If you are struggling to find trust in Him, I welcome you to read the book of Daniel or even join our bible school to dig into the truths about God.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13
Pastor Anthony Rudalf.